Well, here we are. People are allowed into Mass, after the pubs were opened of course, but have to be masked, distanced and give their names and addresses. Forget the singing, the handshakes and holy water, although I will not miss the first two. In the bazaars, they are saying that normal Sunday Mass attendance will be as soon as 2021.By that time.of course, that Catholic stuff will be pretty well a thing of the past, and how many of the missing generations will be back ? Especially when they notice that yet another priest of the Archdiocese is suspended and under police investigation for- well, I think you’ll have guessed. A battered-looking old film star of the Thirties made a final bob or two by singing, or her take on this process, a song called ‘When Will They Ever Learn?’ Even now you may say? After the catastrophe of Covid 19? After all this? Another shepherd of the flock under investigation ?

I don’t think they’ll ever learn. By ‘they’ I don’t just mean the Archbishops and Bishops of Scotland, that local part of the ecclesiastical Jurassic Park known as the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church, although please do count yourself in, lads. So here we are, the Flock of this part of northern Britain, waiting for a simple distribution of the Eucharist as Our Lord asked at the Last Supper. If Church attendances shrink from what they were in January, what will they do next? Oh, and if you wish the Sacrament of Reconciliation, your personal relationship with Christ, also provided at the Last Supper, shouting your failings across a car park may have been replaced by a complicated structure of tapes. instead of the simple process of General Absolution.

It was interesting to find in Wikipedia, under ‘Bishops of Scotland By Name’ so/me very interesting names of Catholic bishops you have certainly never seen in the local Roman Catholic press. Like Bishop Maroon-Nasserof the Maronites, Bishop Kenneth Nopwakowski of the Ukrainians and Bishop Joseph Srampickal of the Syro-Malabars. The last has the largest congregation of all, using a Roman Catholic church in Glasgow. They’re all Catholics, just like you and me, even if without Irish ancestors from Donegal. or even Bengal. We all have the same Pope, and the same Sacraments. They’re all Catholics but not Roman Catholicxs and don’t have to function without the problem of flogging a dead horse. They can go to church and receive the Eucharist without being distracted by wondering if they’re getting it from some pervert. Unlike us.

I am contsantlky stunned to find educated Catholics whom still don’t know that the Church is actually in 24 sections, the Roman Rite and the 23 other sections. No, I mean seriously. Really. Look it up on Wikipedia, ignoring all religious groups ending in ‘x’, unless you want a pointless lifetime hobby The Roman Rite is ours. It’s the one that chases the Flock away. Some of the others are very old. So? One of the most active sections of the Church in Britain- possibly even Glasgow- are the Syro-Malabars. They were founded by St Thomas- that St Thomas, the awkward one . Beat that. You may say- ancient, irrelevant, don’t Twitter- but one of these rites was established as infinitely and incredibly long ago as 2010 by St JPII- and the other in 2015 by Pope Francis.

I am very well aware that there are Jesuits and Jesuits, despite the training. Very well aware. But this is where I feel let down by Pope Francis , even although he has had Cardinal Burke, Cardinal Sarah and above all Pope Doppelganger snapping at his heels. Why can’t he establish more rites, as many as he feels like ? That’s what he’s there for. How about a new rite-the Atlantic Rite, with bishops appointed from the religious orders, and elected ordained parishionsre to provide the Eucharist in an atmosphere free from paedophiles ? Some may be married, you’ll say. I hope so, I definitely say. I also say try to kid a parish as easily as paedophiles have kidded those running seminaries.

Why does the Pope tolerate these old men with funny hats and spectacles who scuttle about trying to resuscitate a defunct method of providing the Eucharist for the Flock ? Why is what is left of the Catholic press still dedicated to helping him? If it’smoney, how much would a Catholic version of ‘Private Eye’ make by putting the boot into those who keep its readers and their children away from the Sacraments simply by still being here ?

Why can’t our prelates justify – finally- their function as shepherds of the Flock by accepting that their present and future can be summed up in three words Do Not Resuscitate?

Why not new rites ? Why not?